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weird years

from yes soliciting by nlg

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" i stried ta tellum ta goway buh he wooin lissssn ---"


" I CAHN HEAR YOU --- SPECKUP!"


" I DID MY BESS TA TELLUM TA GET OWAMAHLIFE. I TRY SO HAR. HE WOOUHIN LIZN TA ME ---- efer. "


" THA SUSKS . "


" YEAH. HE WUS MAH FREN FOREFFER --- thin --- alluhsuddn --- this tesxt. "


" WHAT? "


" A TESXT. TEXT. HE SENTS ME A TESXT---talkin---TALKEN CRASSSIE. "


" THA SUSKS. "


" THAT FUSKIN ASEL! ALL DIS TIME WE HAD SPUN TEGETHER --- AN HE THINGS THAT I --- THAT I HAF TO PUDDUP WETHIS BUHLSHIP? NO ! No . no . "


" THA SUSKS. Hey, warer the drnks? "


" --------WHAT?"


" SORRY BOUT YER FREN! IS THERE --- "


" I WIDSH HE WOOIN TREAT ME LAHIE THS --- he wuhs ma bess fren. Ma bess fren IN THE WORL! I nee mur drink. WHERS THE BOOZE?"


" YEAH. WHERE IS ALCOHOL ? "


" WEB COMMER EFFREY WEEKEND. HERE TUGETHR------- AHHSUM. AHHSUM EFFRY WEEKND. WHA A FUGGN AHHSUM TAHHM. NAHHAM SIHIN HERE --- JUS TAHKN. js takn bow im."


" thasusks. o gottuh gehuh drnk. "


" ME TOOOOOOOOOOOO. GAHD THIS PLACE! THIS PLAAAAAAAHHHHHCE. ALLLLLLL THEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS PEEEEOOOOOOOOOOPLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE. WARES MAH PHONE?
imma tesxt thaaaassel. imma tellum WAST UP."


" TELLUM! SEEAROUN. "


" SEEYA. WHARSMAHPHONE? wharsmahphone. SOOMEWHAN STOLE MAH ----- phhhhh NEFFERMINE! I founnit. now ------- imma tesst ths azole. Speedul won.
Hewhone surfife this. WHYS HE HAAFFFA TREEME LIETHIS?! tesst me? I'LL tesst YOU. TELL YOU WUSSUP:



o live tou nire rgab
evwrurhm g i muds upi
i koce toi ans muse
tiur jinf eords i meber
gad a fruwnd as winfrtgik
as uop uoi nesb motr yo
me rgsn anyinr i sint
beef yi vw gere i
need uoi i wiulft fo
anythij witjouy iou
buy i am onky cos im
scared


"


" HEY! AHHRU CRIEN? WUSSAMADDR? "


" goaway. "


" WHAT? "


" GO AWAY! "

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from yes soliciting, released January 1, 2013

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nlg Harrisonburg, Virginia

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